The past week and a half has been filled to the brim with tests, homework, tough classes, and tutorials. I've been so busy that I haven't even written in my journal since I last blogged, and that's a big deal. I've done a pretty good job at keeping peace with my heart, but my body and mind are now having a difficult time keeping up. One fitness test, a paper, three tutorials, quite a few assessments, and 3 consecutive sleepless nights later, I am finding myself beyond exhaustion. Man, I'm getting old... ;)
This past weekend set me up for what was to come these past few days. I traveled to Dusseldorf, Germany at four in the morning, taking five different kinds of transportation that took me ten hours to get to where I needed to be. But once I got there, it was totally worth it. I got to spend time with my good friend Michael, who I haven't seen in three years, and we had a great time together, celebrating Thanksgiving with 15 other lovely people...mostly Americans, so that was kind of cool. We made a wild feast. Pretty much everyone contributed somehow, and I felt satisfied. I made some good friends while I was there, and I was very thankful to be surrounded by such good people. However, I wasn't so welcomed back in to London. Customs told me I didn't have the right documents to be let back in to the country and he almost sent me to immigration. I have a freakin' visa for crying out loud! Oh well, we won't go there. Thank God he finally let me pass. Just in time for me to catch my bus home at midnight to finish some homework before I started the craziest week of my semester.
As my time here has come to a close, I feel as if new things are blossoming just before I leave. Isn't it funny how that happens? I know this isn't good-bye forever. I love this place too much. I have too many ties to not come back. I had a couple raw moments that have resurfaced the question of where do I see dance in my life? My jazz teacher asked our class why we dance. "Why are you here? Why dance? I want passion and hunger, and I don't see it." As soon as she put the question out there, a part of me retracted and I just thought, 'Oh man, don't ask me that. Ask me again in a couple months from now.' What the heck does that mean? I've come to the conclusion that I really don't know what is going to happen or where I'll be next year, but I'm ok with that. I'm keeping my options open. I'm free.
I had an interesting, but brief conversation with one of my peers on the way to school one day. In my choreography class, I had expressed my struggle with integrating my faith with my art. My friend asked me to elaborate. I can't repeat the conversation word for word, but something shifted in my heart. She basically reminded me of all the benefits of dancing, and it sort of shed some kind of light on the matter. She told me to look at the people I dance with as patience who are waiting to be helped, nurtured, healed. For a long time, I felt that I was being selfish for dancing, but now I realize that my emphasis doesn't have to be on me. It can be on the people I dance with. And to be honest, I don't know many dancers who are Christians. That fact gave me a lot to think about. I guess I just need to decide when it is appropriate to directly praise God, and when it's necessary to reach others by taking an alternative route. Still gives me lots to think about. In any case, I just want to glorify the Lord, and that's the truth.
Off to Christmas tea with my study abroad program. And then, I think I may just crash.
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