Plans

Being home never felt so real and comfortable....for now. I am enjoying my room, the car, home cooking, and friends, but the honeymoon period is short and a plan for my near future is needed, and fast. I'm afraid of being stuck here, although my need to get away is so great that I don't think even the worst of circumstances could keep me in Twin. When the holidays have past, it's time to move on. I'm already becoming restless.

I just spent a week in New York with my best friend and it felt so natural to be there, with him. We went to Central park and I audited his classes. We ate amazing food and had great conversations. We just did life together and it felt good, like that's where I was supposed to be. I already miss waking up beside him, wearing his sweatshirts, and hearing his roommate singing in the shower in the mornings. I miss eating captain crunch and drinking coffee with him while listening to music from our childhood days. I miss the city, the opportunities, the accessibility... I think I need to move there.

The next two weeks will consist of catching up with friends, celebrating the birth of my Jesus and a new beginning to my life and the world, and research on where to go from here. I will be praying for the desire of my heart to be revealed so I may do something about it. Watch out world, here I come!

Cheers

The time has come. Here I sit, writing my last London blog entry as I pull another all-nighter so I can catch a cab to Heathrow Express at 5 in the morning. You do what you have to do, I guess. It hasn't hit me yet...that I'm leaving...and not coming back after the holidays. More than that, I can't believe I'm done with my Bachelor's degree. 3 and a half years has never been such a journey. I'm a completely different person now than I was when I first started out on this college endeavor. And I'm proud to say I am happy with who I am, where I stand, and what I have accomplished. I have, in a way, come from death to life, and living never felt so good.

I said good-bye to my peers and flat mates tonight. Oddly enough, I didn't cry. I think a part of me will always be here in London and with Laban, and I will definitely be keeping in touch with those who have enriched my life during my stay. I can see myself living in London in the future, but for now, home will be a good place to be. I don't think I'll realize how much I miss London and how much it means to me until I am back in Twin Falls, and out of the picture.

This past week was full of temporary farewells. I got through all my assessments, papers, make up classes, and Christmas shopping. I got to see some of my peers perform, as well as the Transitions Dance Company. And to top it off, I had the privilege of witnessing an all-male cast of Matthew Bourne's Swan Lake. Bourne attended Laban, and this was the first time I have seen his work. It was funny, witty, and elegant all at once. It was interesting to see male partnering, as well as such acting in a ballet. There were moments when the men would breathe together, and it sent chills up my spine. The contortion of the lines was brilliantly choreographed, and I just sat watching in awe. Opening night is always special to be a part of, and the ballet got what it deserved: a standing ovation. Getting to see one of the most famous ballet's in London with a full house was the perfect last performance for me to attend.

Besides Swan Lake, I went to see The Phantom of the Opera for the second time in my life, just on a whim. I was sitting so close that I could see the details of the Phantom's distorted face, as well as the eyes of the actors. The cast was strong, and they carried out their voices throughout the performance. It was well worth the pounds. I am looking forward to the sequel.

I don't regret a thing about how I spent my time here in London. I honestly feel like this is where my life is, and I'm living here, doing life here, and that this is the way things are. But I know I will face a different reality tomorrow when I get on a plane to come back to the states. I am looking forward to the holidays with friends and family, as well as figuring out my next plan of action, but there are things I will definitely miss about London. But the good news is that it will always be here, and now that I have more connections, I have more opportunities.

I think the greatest thing I have learned while being here is that in the end, all that matters is the relationships we make. It doesn't matter through what way we influence as long as we are impacting the lives of those around us. And now that I understand this, I feel as if I can go back to America, and truly wake up and live. Cheers.

Thank, full

I've discovered after a long life of insomnia and the bad habit of pulling all-nighters will eventually catch up to you. Yes, that's right. I, Sara Eberlein, can no longer pull a 48 hour day. These past few weeks have been insane, and that is not an overstatement. Tomorrow will be my last official day of class at Laban. And I'm ready. I'm ready to go home to my friends and my family. I'm ready to sleep in my own bed and have a variety in my wardrobe. I'm ready to have a car again, and a sufficient kitchen so I don't have to eat bread and rice every day. I'm ready to make a new plan for my life. But first, saying good-bye and finishing my finals are in order.

The past week and a half has been filled to the brim with tests, homework, tough classes, and tutorials. I've been so busy that I haven't even written in my journal since I last blogged, and that's a big deal. I've done a pretty good job at keeping peace with my heart, but my body and mind are now having a difficult time keeping up. One fitness test, a paper, three tutorials, quite a few assessments, and 3 consecutive sleepless nights later, I am finding myself beyond exhaustion. Man, I'm getting old... ;)

This past weekend set me up for what was to come these past few days. I traveled to Dusseldorf, Germany at four in the morning, taking five different kinds of transportation that took me ten hours to get to where I needed to be. But once I got there, it was totally worth it. I got to spend time with my good friend Michael, who I haven't seen in three years, and we had a great time together, celebrating Thanksgiving with 15 other lovely people...mostly Americans, so that was kind of cool. We made a wild feast. Pretty much everyone contributed somehow, and I felt satisfied. I made some good friends while I was there, and I was very thankful to be surrounded by such good people. However, I wasn't so welcomed back in to London. Customs told me I didn't have the right documents to be let back in to the country and he almost sent me to immigration. I have a freakin' visa for crying out loud! Oh well, we won't go there. Thank God he finally let me pass. Just in time for me to catch my bus home at midnight to finish some homework before I started the craziest week of my semester.

As my time here has come to a close, I feel as if new things are blossoming just before I leave. Isn't it funny how that happens? I know this isn't good-bye forever. I love this place too much. I have too many ties to not come back. I had a couple raw moments that have resurfaced the question of where do I see dance in my life? My jazz teacher asked our class why we dance. "Why are you here? Why dance? I want passion and hunger, and I don't see it." As soon as she put the question out there, a part of me retracted and I just thought, 'Oh man, don't ask me that. Ask me again in a couple months from now.' What the heck does that mean? I've come to the conclusion that I really don't know what is going to happen or where I'll be next year, but I'm ok with that. I'm keeping my options open. I'm free.

I had an interesting, but brief conversation with one of my peers on the way to school one day. In my choreography class, I had expressed my struggle with integrating my faith with my art. My friend asked me to elaborate. I can't repeat the conversation word for word, but something shifted in my heart. She basically reminded me of all the benefits of dancing, and it sort of shed some kind of light on the matter. She told me to look at the people I dance with as patience who are waiting to be helped, nurtured, healed. For a long time, I felt that I was being selfish for dancing, but now I realize that my emphasis doesn't have to be on me. It can be on the people I dance with. And to be honest, I don't know many dancers who are Christians. That fact gave me a lot to think about. I guess I just need to decide when it is appropriate to directly praise God, and when it's necessary to reach others by taking an alternative route. Still gives me lots to think about. In any case, I just want to glorify the Lord, and that's the truth.

Off to Christmas tea with my study abroad program. And then, I think I may just crash.

List of 20

Ok. SO life is getting progressively more crazy, busy, and hectic. The end of the semester is approaching very rapidly and I am doing my best to keep up. However, this means my blog posts will probably have to suffer these next couple of weeks. I trust you understand. In order to still keep you all informed, I am going to give you a top 20 list to sum up my happenings of last week, in no particular order. Here you go!

1) Heaven Song, by Phil Wickham, has been on repeat since the release on the 17th and has resonated with my heart. 2) Jon came in to the city and we got to worship together and walk down the festive street of Oxford with our arms around each other. 3) God sent me comfort through Jon after a little break down. God's so good to me. 3) Wandered around the city with a group of church acquaintances late Sunday night, and never reached a destination. 4) Saw my first tube mice. 5) I was told I have a strong American accent and that it is well loved. 6) Got asked out by a guy who has been creepily watching me this whole time every morning on the train. 7) Another assessment down! Whoop! 8) Went Fair Trade wine tasting with some friends at Vinopolis, and actually fell for a nice red pinotage. 9) Found out I can purchase this wine at the local Sainsbury's grocery store for 5 pounds. 10) Watched My Sister's Keeper with my friend Kristina and had a little heart to heart (I haven't cried that hard since Simon Birch). 10) Trudged through the pouring rain all the way through Hyde Park because Kristina and I were too stupid to skip the tube. 11) Arrived at our destination, wet and miserable. Appreciated a nice cup of hot cocoa. 12) Went to a winter carnival in Hyde Park and road a roller coaster. 13) Had a dinner date with Kristina at a fancy Italian restaurant off Oxford Street, recommended by Jon, called the Pierre Victoire. Delicious. 14) The cutest little black kid said hi as he skipped passed me on my way home from school. It warmed my heart. 15) Went to an Evensong service at St. Paul's Cathedral and heard a boys choir. Couldn't understand a word they were singing, but it was lovely nonetheless. 16) Went to a variety show called La Clique with Blair, where we were very impressed and entertained. 17) Discovered Yeo Valley Greek yogurt with honey. Tis a party in my mouth. 18) Found out a distant friend is studying abroad just south of me, and am planning a visit. 19) ALMOST got in to the premiere of New Moon for free, but that would have required some dishonesty and a sleepless night. 20) 3 weeks to go.

I know that was a mouthful, but the feeling you probably acquired reading this is the same feeling I've had all week; breathless and endless. Life never stops. It just keeps going and going and going...Hope to make time to breathe....soon...

The Finish Line

Three weeks till I am officially done with my last class that will mark the end of my bachelor's degree. I am looking forward to that moment, but until then, I have lots of work to do. It seems like everyone always waits till the last minute to pile on the load, and it doesn't really help when I am trying to break my horrible habit of procrastinating. Whatever. I'm over it. Bring it on, baby. I'll be done with you soon enough. The finish line is in sight and attainable. Nothing is getting in the way of me going out with a bang.

Last week was an interesting one, to say the least. Shifts in the weather, school, my heart are all in the mix. Basically I had a break down midweek, but thankfully I have great Christian friends who support me and love me and help carry me through times like these, even if we are an ocean and half a continent away from each other. Love has no bounds, love always finds a way. It's getting cold out, the rain is coming, and the wind is blowing fiercer than I've ever experienced. Somehow, the thought of friends and love and the holidays warm me up enough that I can manage the change in the climate. I have been missing my friends a lot lately, I miss being around people who know me and love me and push me to be better.I am looking forward to sitting next to a warm fire, drinking hot chocolate, and having a good conversation with a friend. Then I will be content.

I watched Queen Victoria with a friend on Friday night, and we both cried. The affinity between Albert and Victoria was so strong and so real, it was beautiful. Albert risks his life to save his beloved, and survives. Victoria then asks him why he did it. Albert replies, "You are my whole existence." Who doesn't desire a love like that? I also saw The Royal Ballet perform Sleeping Beauty, which was a privilege and a treat. It reminded me of what I am striving for as a dancer: the honor of getting to perform. Just goes to prove we still need fairy tales, make believe and true stories, to bring us hope and faith in people.

School went well last week, although my temporary break down exhausted me to the point where I just needed to rest and find comfort in sleep. It also put me a little farther behind in my studies than I had hoped (I guess procrastinating isn't just a habit for me). I had two more big breakthroughs in my technique classes and I am fighting really hard to maintain them and make them a part of me. Aristotle once said, "We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then, is not an act--but a habit." So I guess not all habits are bad... Some company members from the Akram Khan Company came in to do a workshop for my choreography class. I had high expectations since this dance company is like the Bill T. Jones of Britain, but unfortunately it wasn't all I had hoped it would be, but it was an experience. I never knew I could learn to move like a monkey's nervous system, that's for sure. We do some crazy stuff in modern, not always by choice may I add. It definitely stretches the imagination.

Aside from my daily happenings, a part of me is just patiently waiting till I get on a plane to come back to the states. There really is no place like home. I'm excited for what God has planned next for me. I'm ready for a new adventure.

Wicked High

Now I'm getting somewhere. I am currently going through one of those seasons where I know I'm making progress, but I can't necessarily see it or feel it. Sometimes I worry that I am falling away from God, but I am learning to praise Him and glorify Him in all situations. My circumstances do not dictate my relationship with Christ. I know He has reason and purpose for this experience, and as long as He knows, I don't need to. I trust that in His timing, all will be revealed. He does have a way of waiting till the last minute though...

I am also going through changes as a dancer. I know my tutors recognize the process I am journeying on, and perhaps they can see the place I have come from and the path that has lead me to where I am now. I have been relying on them to remind me of how far I've come and praising me for the progress I've made. From a satisfying look, to a brush on the shoulder, it all counts. Those are the moments I feel real.

This past week was difficult for me, after having a week off from technique class. I found myself being asked to be present and give all of me to moments in class, from teachers I respect and care about making proud. Even though my body and mind wanted to give up, I pushed myself to do what was asked of me...and it worked. Now that's what I call passion. But even though it was rewarding, my soul could not seem to soak up the benefits. We'll see if I can integrate what I have learned in to my being this upcoming week.

I also performed my solo in choreography, felt good about it, and got good feedback. I had the privilege of witnessing my peers perform their solos, and I felt blessed. I reaped many corrections and constructive criticism in my classes, and had a huge breakthrough in ballet. My teacher was pleased, and I give her all the credit for my success. There is a hole in my life that needs to be filled. What is it? Am I lacking passion? Direction? Desire? It's like now that I have everything I've wanted in my education, I am questioning if it's what I really want. I am getting along with this void for now, but I don't know how much longer I will last. Maybe I just miss home and my friends, and my guitar. Needless to say, I am looking forward to graduation.

The absolute high of my week was watching the Broadway production of Wicked. I was truly entertained, moved, and inspired. The overwhelming feeling of wanting to be on stage, changing the hearts of millions came rushing back. Musical theater definitely has a special place in my life and I want to start nurturing it. One day, I hope to be heavily involved in a musical production. It's important for me to voice this, my desires, because it makes it more real and perhaps more tangible too.

My week also included the celebration of a flatmate's birthday at a fancy Indian restaurant and remembering the 5th of November...till two in the morning on a school night. It was like the 4th of July in Autumn with Christmas decorations. I also walked around the British Museum and the Tate Modern, where I got to feast my eyes on less well-known Picasso's, Dali's, and original Japanese woodblock prints to name a few, as well as ancient objects preserved from all over the world (the kinds of things you only see in movies such as Tomb Raider and National Treasure). I'm not really a museum person, but when you are living in a place enveloping history, your curiosity gets the best of you (aka I went just to be able to say I've been there). I also ventured in to Hamley's, the world's largest toy store. I was impressed, but left empty handed. My study abroad program took us on a day trip to Leamington Spa and Warwick Castle on Saturday. The castle was really interesting to see, since it is a legitimate medieval castle still standing in Britain. Our tour guide was something else as well. My brain is currently on overload from the all the random facts he spouted out at us. I retained a lot of the information though. It was an eventful week to say the least.

So my brain is on fire but my heart is waiting for the flame. They do say patience is a virtue. I just wish I was a star.

Break

The remnants of a Halloween storm sit stagnant on my window pain. I watch the wind blow fiercely through the scattered droplets that skew my view. November is here.

The only celebrating I did for Halloween was eat a cupcake that my flatmate made. Honestly, I forgot that it was even a holiday. The Brits are more in to the trick side of things, rather than the treats, so much more that grocery stores refused to sell flour and eggs to anyone under 18 for the past couple of weeks. Thank God I'm an American and over 18, because I don't think I could go without flour and eggs for that long, nor the lack of freedom to acquire those products. Needless to say, I had a nice evening to myself, which I spent in my room where no trick could possibly reach me (not that I needed to worry about that anyway).

This past week was half term, which means I didn't have class. But don't mistake this to mean I had a break, oh no. I spent more time doing homework throughout the past few days than I have spent this whole semester, and it's only just begun. The good news is I will have two of my finals done and out of the way by this upcoming Tuesday, and only two more official finals to go, which will be nice since I have a feeling the next five weeks of my life are going to fly by, and I will be on a plane coming home before I know it.

I did however squeeze in time to get away this past week (aka made myself take the time). I did a little exploring in the city and saw a couple of shows. Avenue Q was a good laugh, quite vulgar, but funny. Ironically, one of the motifs in the show was about finding your purpose. Of course the character on the road to self discovery never figures out what he was born to do, but he made a valid point that if you focus on helping others you can't help helping yourself. Perhaps through service, I will find where my passion truly lies... I also saw Billy Elliott. Changed my life. Perfect timing. God does answer prayers. I witnessed a very talented young boy dancing while his world was falling apart around him. Dancing is like losing yourself, to feel whole. I was reminded of why I dance, and it brought me to tears...twice. I guess what I need to be reminded of is that childlike wonder and feeling like I can do anything. We all do. We can't help growing up, but we can learn to be free.

I want to be a part of something as inspiring as Billy Elliott. To reach a broad range of people around the world through performance, worthy of a standing ovation. I want to feel the electricity flowing inside of me, and then I'll know I'm free.

In the Marker

It feels like forever since I last blogged. A lot has happened in between then and now. I dove deep in to life these past few days. Let me fill you in...

Choreography seems so be a new focus of mine. This class is really challenging me to go to the edge of myself, and I am loving it. This past week we shared our self portraits with each other. We were open and vulnerable, and known. We shared deeper parts of ourselves with our peers, and I felt connected, closer, not alone. It's only natural for a room full of women to bond in that sort of environment. I don't think there was a dry eye in the studio. It was brilliant, to say the least. Our next challenge is to create solos on ourselves that are embodiments of our self portraits. I plan on investing quite a bit in to this piece, as it will be a physical marker, a place in my life that will represent change and growth. Look for it on facebook.

My study abroad program took a day trip to Stonehenge and Lacock this past weekend. It was rainy and windy while we briskly walked around the blue stones (aka it took us about 20 minutes to ooh and awe and then we were done), but it was worth enduring...once I got some hot cider in my system. The Abbey in Lacock was magnificent. The weather cleared up and the sun appeared, allowing us to enjoy the autumn scenery and the cute little town where Harry Potter was filmed, along with the complimentary sheep (honestly, I think their main purpose is for decoration). It was awesome to see a place preserved to look like old, traditional England. That night, a few of us went out to Nando's for dinner, the best peri-peri chicken in the city. Yum.

On Sunday, I traveled to little Folkestone in Kent to see my dear friend, Jon. It was really nice getting to relax and spend time in the presence of someone who knows me. We went to Jon's church and heard a good sermon on being a finisher for Christ. It really put some things in to perspective for me. The next day, we took a bus in to Canterbury where we did the normal touristy things. Jon introduced me to real Brit chocolate,which I will be stocking up on before I leave the country, and tangfastics. We walked around the oceanside and gazed at the border of France as the sunset. Had some cream tea, and then made squash soup for dinner. It was a short, but good trip. I found fellowship and community there, and I'm really happy for Jon that he's found a home. Good conversation plus good hugs equals happy Sara (they don't hug in Britain, but don't worry, I'm teaching them).

Before my trip to see Jon, I had some one-on-one time with my new Hillsong friend, Eugene. We shared parts of our testimonies with each other and our thoughts on the present life. He helped talk me through the questions that have been bouncing around in my head these past couple of weeks, which I shared with you in my last post, and gave me inspiration for my solo. We all have markers in our lives, places we can look back on and remember how they've changed us. I have realized that I am in a marker right now, I am experiencing the change and growth that I will soon be able to look back on and understand the transformation I have undergone. I have also come to the realization that I want this time in London to be a life-changing experience, and that I want to create as many memories as I can while I am here. So here I go...taking chances, creating opportunities, doing life the way I want to do life.

Questions

I am physically and mentally exhausted from this past week's activities, but my spiritual condition is in good health. Let me fill you in on what went down...

I had some very interesting, thought provoking classes at the beginning of the week. For my choreography class, we got to travel to the National Portrait Gallery for a private lecture on some of the most popular pieces, as well as time to wander. There was a new addition to the gallery, a sculpture that a man had made with his own blood and a mold of his head. The piece has to be refrigerated and is redone every five years. It was fascinating to say the least, and quite the level of commitment on the artist's part. My assignment for this upcoming week is to create my own self-portrait, but don't worry, I won't be drawing any blood, even though I have been reading the Twilight series. Throughout the rest of the week, I had a craving for McDonald's that I had to satisfy. Thursday was my splurge day: went to my one class, ate lunch at McD's and then found a cute coffee shop where I enjoyed scones and tea (a classic brit treat) while I read New Moon. Tea has been my comfort drink here in London, perhaps because it's cheaper and easier to make than coffee. The weather is slowly changing in to the rainy, windy Autumn I had been expecting a while ago. I am loving the transformation of the trees and colors around England, and it's making me excited for the holidays. However, I do not envy my friends who are enduring the freezing temperatures up in Moscow, Idaho. Maybe since winter came early, it will leave early...there is always hope.

Friday afternoon, I left on a bus to the Lake District, which is in Northern England close to Scotland. It took us nine hours to get there and during our pit stop my phone made its way out of my pocket and in to the toilet which left me a tad bit hopeless for a good weekend, but the following experiences were totally worth it. I thought I would have to travel to Ireland to see such beauty as I did when I woke up the next morning and looked out my window. Mountains and lakes, rolling green hills covered with trees and sheep, lined with stone walls surrounded us for miles. Peace and beauty filled my heart and my spirit rose. I went zip lining on a mountain across a river. It was quite the rush. A beautiful view of the land. I also did some coracle building where we built a bowl-shaped raft out of recycled plastic tubes, a tarp, and tape. My team did an excellent job with our structure. It worked! We ended the afternoon by jumping in to the ice cold creek. The hot shower that followed never felt so good. It was definitely an adventure weekend, and what a ride it was.

All these moments, the good and the indifferent, have led me to start questioning my future. Sometimes when I have adventure weekends, I don't feel like I'm in school and instead I fantasize about being a traveler for the rest of my life. Sometimes I forget that I am still working towards a degree and that the end is coming soon. I am enjoying these adventures, and I do enjoy Laban and all that I'm learning. But what happens when my time is up here? Where do I go? Where does dance fit in to my life? What does God have planned and is it the same as what I think it is? Do I have a dream, a passion so strong for something that I can go out in to the "real world" and make it a reality? A career? Commit my life and time and energy to? And is it dance? Should I be planning ahead? How do I plan when I don't know what my goal is? I am uncertain about what lies ahead, but I am confident that God will lead me. Time is closing in on me, and I am learning to rest in God, to not be busy at heart, and to be at peace with what I know now. The answers will come, my life will serve a greater purpose. God would ruin my plans anyway. I think this time around, I may wing it. If you have any advice, I'm all ears.

To Love Someone is to See the Face of God

It's been a crazy week full of memorable experiences. Last weekend some friends and I traveled to Brighton and walked by the ocean, ate fish n' chips on the pier, and meandered through the shops around town. It was frightfully windy, but well worth the train ride. We found some good gifts and red velvet cupcakes. Yum. Our high spirits from a fun-filled day left us wishing the night wouldn't end. So we found a bar and restaurant on the way home and enjoyed some drinks and live music. At the end of the night, we were the only ones dancing, and I think the musicians appreciated it. MK and I didn't get our fill, so Sunday night we went to a salsa club with some buddies from church and learned some basic steps. Twas an awesome weekend.

Throughout the week I enjoyed getting to know some of my flat mates better by eating and reminiscing together in our cramped kitchen and savoring some gelato while playing Jenga. Experienced some more of the wonderful London rain, which really is wonderful because it's so much more pure here than the acid rain we get in parts of America, and finding more gifts on Portabello Road. I had some epiphanies in my dance classes these past few days, but I suppose, considering I am going to a conservatory, that is expected. I will probably never get used to it though, which is a blessing I think. I've been keeping up with my Moscow church community by listening to their podcasts and reading their beautiful mess stories on the blog. I also attended the Hillsong Conference which was just more of regular Hillsong services, except in a larger venue. Got some good soul food out of it and some sweet worship time. To close the week, a few of my flat mates and I shared some bonding time in the lounge, watching chick flicks and eating popcorn on a rainy night. Pride and Prejudice had us dreaming sweet dreams and inspired us to travel to the district where it was filmed, so I have that to look forward to. Now all that's missing is my prince.

I went and saw Les Miserables this evening. It was a special performance because it was three of the main cast members' last night. The man who played Jean Valjean was phenomenal and is now leaving to play the Phantom, which I would pay good money to see. His voice was so strong and so smooth. I was blown away by some of the characters and others, I was slightly disappointed in. But Les Mis isn't one of my favorite musicals. I knew I would be moved, but I wasn't changed. I did however learn that to love someone is to see the face of God. I've never been in love, nor do I believe anyone has ever truly been in love with me. But, I dreamed a dream...perhaps my Pride and Prejudice trip will bring me love, my musical.

Realities

I always get the crud around this time of year. I fight it as hard as I can, but to no avail... the past few days I have been coughing and sneezing up a storm and I blow my nose every five minutes. I have found that rest, tea, and prayer are great remedies, along with believing you'll beat it. It's never fun when you can't breathe during dance class and your movement is restricted because you don't want to fling your snot and germs all over the people next to you. And although those people happen to be my friends, I would never wish to share a sickness with them. Hopefully by the end of the weekend I will be fully recovered.

Last Sunday I thoroughly enjoyed a day in Hyde Park with Emily. We walked in natural beauty and talked about how we felt being three weeks in to our journey. We drank tea and ate caramel waffle cookies while basking in God's sun, reading, doing homework, watching boys play some ultimate frisbee, and listening to soothing music. The pace at which time goes by here allows me to soak up every moment and be still, in awe. I am managing to retain the life I am living and for the first time I can say that that is my reality. I'm learning to be in the moment instead of always looking towards the future or at the past (I am embracing instead of escaping my true feelings).

There are two other realities I would like to share with you that have been put in to motion and are in the midst of happening. First of all, my home girl, Riquel Olander, made history this past week. Her all female dance crew won America's Best Dance Crew a few days ago and had the privilege of dancing on the Ellen show (which has been one of Riqi's dreams). And now this weekend, one of my dearest friends, Jordan Stanley, stars in New York University's show of Kiss of the Spider Woman, taking on the lead role. I read that opening night, last night, was phenomenal. I'm disappointed that I can't be there to watch him literally rise to fame, but knowing that dreams are coming true for people I care about, love, and know is enough for any spirit to be lifted. There is no jealousy here, only pride and support for my friends' successes.

Other experiences this past week included celebrating Ali's birthday by eating a huge, and I mean huge, chocolate cake at lunch, eating dinner at a fancy Italian restaurant, and just making Ali feel special. I participated in a Hillsong connect group and met some interesting, older people, and learned about some of the issues that this particular body of Christ is dealing with. I was stalked by a guy in the underground, but easily lost him by hiding in the sea of people. Don't worry, I'm a pro at dealing with this situation by now. And today I had my first London skype chat with my friend Leanne. It was good to see a familiar face, even if it was on a computer screen.

This weekend, I am looking forward to a new adventure with my girls and some salsa dancing on Sunday night. God is rockin' my world right now, by managing to show me how to live my dream, work hard for what is to come, and still have fun at the same time. That is my present reality, that is my life as of now, and I am loving it. I choose life!

Really Nice

I'm sitting here, gazing out my window at what's left of the sunset as I reflect on my past week experiences. I can't remember the last time I was this sore, and yet I feel rejuvenated. If that's not satisfaction to a dancer, I don't know what is. I experienced dance in many forms in the past few days. Let me tell you all about it...

Last Thursday I soaked up the moments I found myself in. Laban had their Master student performances this past week and my American friends and I thought it would be a good idea to go see one. Unfortunately, so did everybody else and therefore the show was sold out, so we decided to go in to Greenwich and eat some Mexican food at Cafe Sol. It was delicious. Much better than the Mexican I had eaten the night before with my flat mates at Santo's Mexican Kitchen in Notting Hill. I guess I had high expectations going in (aka that it would taste like American Mexican food), but I've learned that everything here tastes slightly different than what I'm used to (aka the food isn't packed with preservatives, salt, flour, and sugar). The restaurant played some awesome music, which of course inspired the dancing spirit to come out in all of us... all the way home. There's nothing better than dancing in the tube late at night when everyone around you is dead tired, and so are you. But somehow I've found that when you have no energy, that's when you exert the best moves, the original, organic, spontaneous ones that you can't help but laugh at. At that point, you just don't care if people look at you and think, "crazy Americans", because you're having the time of your life and being true to the moment. Good times. Needless to say, the groove stuck through my rem cycle and carried over to Friday. I began the morning with contemporary class, dancing a modern phrase to good old Coltrane, while thinking of my dad who introduced me to him. I then took an epic jazz class that put me on an adrenaline high. It was literally liberating and reminded me why I dance. Best class to end my weeks with. I followed it up with a repertory audition, which was an interesting experience. It pushed me to be inventive in a relaxed manner, and I felt challenged on the spot. But I stayed focused and finished strong. I find out if I got in on Monday. Whatever the outcome, I'm glad I took the opportunity. I've never experienced an audition quite like this one, and I learned from it. Friday night, I went to yet another movie, alone. Of course I had to see Fame, opening night. You can bet I left the theater dancing and singing...by myself. Whatever. I'm a dancer. I can't help it. And I wouldn't want to even if I could.

Other interesting experiences I had this past week included my first trip to the laundromat, which left me astounded at how many pounds (in currency) I lost. I hung dried all my clothes in my tiny room that night, and slept without sheets, after showering in the dark because our electricity went out in our bathrooms. I may be an insomniac, but that doesn't mean the dark doesn't creep me out. If there's a next time, I may just sleep in my sweat. It's not like I'm not going to get up in the morning and dance and sweat some more or anything... Today I ran some errands all over the city. There's so much I still haven't seen. Good thing I have time. I ate at a place called Belgo in Covent Garden, another restaurant my old youth pastor recommended. I ordered, and almost immediately after, I was served a gourmet roasted chicken with chili and red pepper sauce. I barely caught their lunch special, so I was pleased with the price, as well as the quality of the food. I however didn't have the time to try one of their fruit beers. I'll save that for next time I guess.

It's been a great journey so far and I'm excited for what is to come. I have a lot of work to do, but I'm excited to get started, which isn't always the case. Time here is valuable, and it goes by slow enough for me to soak in all my experiences moment to moment, but fast enough that when I look back, I still think, "Where has the time gone?" I don't think it's going to slow down at all, and I don't think there will ever be enough time to do everything I want to do, which is why I have to live in the now and live as if today is all I have. Really, that's all I'm guaranteed. I have to take the chances when they are presented, and make my own way and opportunities. I have to make it happen. I'm not wasting another minute waiting...

Cool fact: Sara is a rare name here, where as in the states it's one of the most common. I was seriously asked if I was Jewish. My name has more meaning now. It's "really nice."

First Official Week In...

Alright. I think I may need to do more than one blog post a week...this one may be quite lengthy. I'll just fill you in on the highlights of my first official week.

For the past few days it seems as if time doesn't take itself seriously. It just nonchalantly mossies along without a care in the world. Longest week of my life, but not the most boring. I suppose the lack of reality hitting me that says I am a foreigner from a far away land hasn't helped me adjust to the laid back attitude of the Brits, but really now, I can only take so much explaining of classes and programs. I endured hours and hours of tutors talking about their individual teaching styles and their particular classes, while sitting on the floor after waking up earlier than the average Londoner...without breakfast, five days in a row. I also had auditions, which went well. It was a treat to get to move. Putting aside all the mundane talk that was necessary, since 75 percent of the people who go to my conservatory don't speak English as their primary language, I was filled with hope and joy this week. The staff is AMAZING, each and every one of them, and they all have the same mindset of teaching us to be who we are, get in to our own bodies, and discover. I know I am going to grow a lot while I am here, and even enjoy the journey. And it's awesome to know that I have something to bring to the table as well.

Other highlights of my week included an Indian cuisine dinner, consisting of chicken curry over rice, with just the right amount of spice, basil, and oregano. Delicious. I have learned that you cannot judge the price of good food here. Many restaurants may look expensive on the outside, but are very reasonably priced, and for good food. I promised one of my best friends that I wouldn't return to the states with the mind set of "Everything's better in London," but I'm finding the statement to be somewhat true. Everything is just cleaner and classier here. There's nothing you can't find.

I also treated myself to a movie one night. I saw The Time Traveler's Wife and bawled like a baby. I didn't feel so bad when I heard the woman next to me sniffling as well. It was a feel good love story and very well done, although there was no moral or lesson learned. This upcoming week you can bet I'll be seeing Fame and 500 Days of Summer. I need some love and inspiration to pump me up for what is to come, instead of just feeling ready.

On Saturday I went to the Portobello Market, where I feasted my eyes on fresh foods from all over the world and antiques in every other tent. The actual road is a long one, and the market just kept going and going, like the energizer bunny. So many people crowded the streets to the point that you couldn't actually shop for anything. A claustrophobic would have a hell of a time. It was wild to say the least. I enjoyed a ham and cheese crepe and beautiful weather yesterday. That night, the girls and I went over to Ali and Blair's flat for dinner. We indulged in freshly made marinara sauce over pasta, ciabatta bread with olive oil and crushed pepper, and California chardonnay. To top it off, we split a brownie dessert that was loaded with white mousse, caramel, toffee, and chocolate shavings, which we found at our local grocery store. We had a laid back evening, telling stories and getting to know each other better. It was quite nice to dine in a real kitchen with homemade food and in good company.

Today, we all traveled to the Dominion Theatre where we experience our first Hillsong service. It was quite a rush, let me tell you. Thousands of people who come from all over the world gathered in the same place to worship God. We sat close to the front so we could get the full experience. Contemporary music made by a band of about ten people blasted from the speakers while the dazzling lights heated things up. I've never seen so many young people jumping up and down and raising their hands and voices to the Lord. It rocked. Kind of overwhelming. I rode my first double decker bus today as we made our way to the stores. We did some shopping on Oxford Street during the afternoon and found some great deals. We were all worn out after five hours of it though. We're going back to Hillsong tonight to meet and greet some people our own age. A group of us are going out for drinks and I'm excited to get connected. I know God has great plans for me, which means I have a lot of work to do as well. I guess laundry will have to wait till tomorrow. I'm not too excited about having to pay five pounds to do a load anyway.

I think that's all the deets worth sharing for now. Overall, I think God is slowing down time for me to have time to really engage and be present here. Which in that case, I know I am blessed. God knows what I need when I need it, and I have faith that he will provide and reveal Himself to me in all I do. I hope you all are experiencing God in your daily walks as well and looking forward to the future. Cheers for now!

What a weekend...

I'm SO ready for school to start. Although I am walking great lengths every day, I need to be dancing. Tomorrow morning, I'll get up at 6:30 AM, catch my rides (yes, plural) to Deptford, sit through a seminar, and enjoy or not enjoy a 4 hour break until contemporary auditions. I'll also be testing out the food on campus and perhaps around Greenwich. Let's hope it's a good day.

This past weekend, I had quite the variety of experiences. On Friday night, Mk, Emily, and I went out to The Champion pub down the road, where we striked up a conversation with some Brazilians who were nice enough to offer us a spot at their table. I'm not allowed to repeat what happened after that, but let me just say that I was the prude for the evening who was kept company by the only married man in the group, while my friends got hit on...all night. I had fun...

I naturally needed some alone time the next day. I wandered around central London, solo, during the afternoon and quite enjoyed myself as I smiled and waved to strangers strolling down the streets. Independence never gets old. I surprisingly ended up finding Wagamamas, a japanese restuarant my old youth pastor recommended, and ate a delicious plate of noodles that I washed down with peach ice tea, which reminded me of the tea one of my best friend's mom makes. Brilliant. The girls and I stayed in and had a low key night by watching Never Been Kissed. We all went to bed feeling hopeful, or depressed, about being single and finding love in London. I couldn't sleep...damn romantic comedies always get me. "Cause I know a place where the sun is always shining..." Well, not always.

Today we went down to London Bridge and attended the Thames Festival, the largest free annual festival in London. We walked the cobblestone pavement where you could feel the elevated stone press in to the soles of your feet like a kiss, as we oohed and awed at all the different venues. The wind and overcast gave London it's notorious look, but it wasn't enough of a threat to send people home. A small ampitheatre, located in the middle of the festival, called The Scoop had performers from all over the world showing off their talents and introducing passer-byers to their cultural arts. From choirs singing to support organizations who raise money for the four-thousand African children who die from a lack of clean water everyday to Korean dancing and martial arts, it was all there. They even had a separate dance floor for commoners to come and do a little swing. The girls and I took artsy pictures of the area, including ones of kids playing in the local fountain. Little things like that still bring joy to my life, and I love capturing tangible memories of moments such as these.

I ended the evening in disappointment when I travelled to the Hillsong Church site, just to find that for this week they relocated to a different venue. Oh well. The songs my heart sings will keep me in touch with the Lord till next Sunday I suppose.

I'm excited for what the week will bring. I'll try and give an update at least once a week. We'll see how exhausted I am at the end of each day. I begin practicing going to bed at an earlier, more reasonable hour starting...now. :)

Oi! What a day...

Coffee on an empty stomach is never a good thing. Especially after travelling on the tube standing up for 75 minutes, early in the morning during rush hour. Doesn't even matter if it's good coffee, it still has the same stomach-churning affect. But on the bright side, it was my first of many cups of coffee in London, so I guess it was worth it. Coffee will probably become a norm for me if I have to spend 3 hours of my life on public transportation every day.

I visited the Laban Conservatory this morning. I honestly can say, it was pretty much love at first sight. The facilities were built by the same Swedish designers who built the Tate Modern. The exterior architecture reflects dim shades of blueish greens and purples, while the interior is a different color around every corner and on every wall as well as being decked out in modern art. All three floors are comprised of windows, so everyone can see everything that happens inside this wonderland. The pictures are surprisingly a good reflection of what the building actually looks like, but nothing beats the real deal. We even have a grass-covered ampitheatre outside. How could you not be happy in a place like this? I had a smile on my face the entire time, which came in handy when meeting other students... from all over the world. The location is in an older, more run down part of the city called Deptford where the damage from the world wars remain, but right next to Greenwich Village where you can spend a nice afternoon shopping and eating cheap food. Today, MK, Emily, and two of our new American friends who we ran in to as we guessed our way to the center, ate at Noodle Time. It was actually good Asian food, cheap as it comes, and reminded me of the Peking Restaurant back home. Anyway, the staff and students at Laban are super nice, artsy, and positive. They are world renowned, and I have the honor of studying with them and under them. Laban really prides itself on diversity, which gives people from all over the world who have potential and a passion for movement the chance of a lifetime to perfect their craft and gain much knowledge about the world, life, and dance. That's what higher education should be about, in my opinion. I will be challenged and pushed to the edge of my limits here, and I may fall off. But if I do, it won't be because I am overwhelmed by the weight of the world or the devil creeping inside of me whispering, "You can't do this, you're not good enough." It will be because I have found something in life that surpasses all the good experiences I have had thus far...because someone believed in me and cared enough for me to challenge me to be better and showed me a path to my potential and greatness in a positive way...because I finally found God in my art and now know what it's like to be completely dedicated and passionate about something, giving it all of me. Laban will be a healthy, positive, and beautiful atmosphere to learn in and bring something to, instead of a competive one...and I can't wait to get started. I'm going to make dance friends from all over the world, which will make classes rich in context, and I will walk away having learned something new about a different culture, way of thinking, or new approach to a concept. This next week is induction week when we are introduced to the staff and classes in depth. They really care about the students getting to take what they want to take, and get what they pay for, which is very rare. I will also be auditioning for technique classes during this time. Seriously, it couldn't get any better than this. I believe I will be growing more in the next few months than I ever have in a year's time. I will be experiencing life changes, heart changes, a complete transformation, and I am so ready. I feel honored to be here, and I now know God has bigger plans for me than I could ever have for myself.

This may have been one of the best opportunites I've been offered, and one of the best decisions I've ever made. It's about time that God and I are on the same page. I already want to extend my stay. I can finally say that I love my school and what I do. I am blessed. Thank you for journeying with me. Cheers!

Live and love the way you know how.

Today, I found a store that I believe is an intelligent idea and a way of the future. This place is called Argos. You go in, look through a catalog for the items you want. If they are available then you push in the catalog numbers and your purchases come out of a conveyer belt right in to your hot little hand. Dirt cheap prices and very time efficient. Blew my mind away.

I am in love with this city! I'm already picking up the accent, walking around like I know the place, and wearing lots of black and vintage clothing. I'm almost calling it home. And then I remember that I am spending a rediculous amount of money to be here, and will be returning to a hole in my pocket and a not so happy bank account. Aka, not so happy Sara. Maybe I'll get signed or fall in love...a girl can dream, can't she?

My life always seems slightly changed after I see a broadway show. Tonight I had the pleasure of experiencing La Cage Aux Folles. Even as a dancer I've never seen men with such amazing legs in my life, who wear them better than 50 percent of women. The stage was barely large enough to contain those lean and long ligaments. I was like, "Wowzers, put those down before you do damage!" For real, you should have seen their tilts...past 180 degrees and in heels. Most amazing chorus I've ever seen and the most beautiful lesson I've learned from watching a story about homosexuality: live and love the way you know how. I actually shed a tear. Perhaps because I have so many gay friends who struggle with, "I am what I am", or maybe because I got a deeper look in to many of my friends' lifestyles and felt something special for them, but mostly because it made me terribly depressed about my romance less life. Men are having deep love relationships with each other that are just as meaningful, fulfilling, and abundant as traditional men-women relationships are, and here I am, straight and single. I guess I've hidden my desire to be wanted and loved for a long time, and well might I add. I guess it's my own fault.

As a Christian, I have learned that sin is sin. It is black and there are no shades of this color. But when it comes to homosexuality, many people treat it as if it is one of the worst sins one could commit. My question is this: if sin is sin, then isn't love, love? Is the polar opposite of the worst sin in the world a love that is divine, or for some of us a lasting romance called marriage? And if we treated our most important love as the complete opposite of what we perceived to be the most heinous of sins, could we truly know a love unlike any other? I guess what I'm trying to say is that love should have no boundaries. How you give and receive love should not look different from person to person. There is a flaw in our present view of homosexuality. I'm not going to say whether it is right or wrong, or if we should accept it or deny it. But I will say that if we do not understand love, then we cannot understand anything else. And if we don't understand anything else, we cannot know what it is like to grow closer to God, and love more like Christ. If we keep thinking that there really are levels of sin, I believe we will never know what it is like to have a personal, divine romance. God calls us to love one another as He did and his heart did not choose one soul over another. I also believe that if we do not learn to love ourselves, we can never receive love that is unconditional, and complete. I know, I need to take my own advice (I told you I'd let you further in). Sin has limits, but love should not. It's never wrong to choose to love. The British seem to be more accepting and laid back about sexual orientation, and I've witnessed rapports of undefining, requited, and free love, in the few days I've been here.

Thanks for reading my little rant. It's ok if you disagree or don't understand. Just remember that being homosexual isn't the end of the world, just like marriage isn't it either, so don't treat it as such. :)

Five hours of nap time. I get to jump on the tube at 7AM to visit my school for the first time tomorrow. An hour and ten minutes commute each way, on a good day. Welcome to my life.

Post Exhaustion.

Ok. First day of orientation went well. I already feel more educated about what to expect. I learned a few things today that I deemed blog worthy, so here they are: 1) I am living two flats down from Stella McCartney, which is kind of a big deal. 2) I have the privilege of drinking some of the cleanest water in the world, which happens to be accesible by my sink in my flat. It's so pure and smooth that it floats over your tongue like a cloud. 3) Men are more likely to be victims of violence, and Americans are only number three on the target list for petty theft in London. Woop-de-frickin-do. 4) Mugging is an American term that the british use and actually thought they made up. 5) Obama might as well be the queen of England, because the british are more in love with him than his home country at the moment. 6) I'll probably learn more about the United States by living in London than I would from living in it. 7) I am a little bit in love with this place.

We took a walking tour of Kensington and Chelsea where I learned all that is at the tip of my toes(?). Strolled down the street where Notting Hill was filmed while enjoying the beautiful, humid, sunny weather (I can already feel the difference in my skin). I may be tempted to get a whole new wardrobe while I'm here, but for my pocket's sake hopefully I'll be reasonable. I had pizza and fruli Belgium beer for dinner with some gelato for dessert. Talked it up with my new dance buddies in a happenin' pub, which may become a friday night ritual. Good for the socializing, bad for the gut. It hasn't really dawned on me that I am living in one of the coolest places in the world, let alone get to dance and be passionate and supported here. I know I am exactly where I am supposed to be. Thank you God for your gloriousness and all things London. Now that I am in the post exhaustion phase, I can actually open my eyes and see what You want me to see.

Something to find.

Ya'll ready for this? The first thing you should know is that I never wanted to be a blogger. I never felt like word vomitting my life in to cyber space for everyone to read, partially because I'm kind of a private, more one-on-one type of person who thinks no one really cares about my day to day life happenings, partially because it's a committment, and partially because there are parts of my life that I need to hide from the public, and I know there will be times when I have urges to word splurge and dump my emo-side on to this web page where I think it won't really matter because I think no one really cares...but you do. I guess I'll just keep the private in my journal. The fact is I am now in another country studying abroad where connection with my former life is limited and disconnect is unwanted...especially for the other side. SO I am starting a blog to keep you all superficially informed on my experiences in the UK without you. Seriously, I'm doing this specifically for you. :) Who knows if I'll keep writing after my time in London is spent, but the good news is I'm sure once I get more comfortable with the idea of throwing up my feelings in words, I'll let you further in. So it begins...

I am an insomniac and changing time zones in to lost days does not hinder my lifestyle. I'm going on day 4 with no sleep, half of which I've spent sitting on a plane, and for those of you who know me, I hate sitting, especially still. Sleeping vertically challenges the process of your rem cycle, which I never hit. On top of that, I had to go through security, again, in the Newark airport where they lie to you and tell you you can take bottled water through to the other side when in fact you can't and end up having to throw it away (and they say they are trying to preserve our earth when they maliciously make us the culprits of destroying it). They also almost made me pay a $120 charge to check my carry-on bag because they decided it was too big, even though my bag was in fact within the size and weight restrictions. Thank you God for courage. I was also questioned if I had any weapons on me by an Arabian flight attendant before I boarded one flight, and was also searched a second time because Delta is paranoid that their security isn't good enough, so they do embarrassing random pat downs as you board the plane. Or perhaps it's because I'm Asain. Really people, as a minority and a female, I think about those things. What ev, I'm over it. Other than that, I've had a good experience thus far. I've met some people I know I'll get along with, included the study abroad staff. I'm excited to form relationships with them and do life with them. I have my own room with a sink and a window, which happens to be on the very top floor. Elevators don't exist in London, so I guess the dancer out of all people gets the extra exercise. I share toilets that have a hard time flushing, as well as showers that have no power in their rain, but they will suffice. We have a kitchen and a garden in the back, and we are lucky to be living in one of the nicest, ritziest, places in London: Notting Hill. Overall, it's clean, and surprisingly spacious. IFSA-Butler obviously takes care of their students and I have felt welcomed and comfortable here. Maybe too much so. But I'll always have my mother's nagging voice in the back of my mind that will have me wary of every step I take and every person I bump in to. Thanks mom. ;)

Orientation will last the rest of the week and I am excited for what is in store. My heart's desire is that there will be much to find and that much will be found while I am living in this vast, beautiful, art thriving, city. God sent me, I went. God has plans for me, and I am living it up. I don't want to miss a thing.

That's all for now. This was actually kind of fun. Hope I impressed you, cause really, this is all for you. Love you guys. Shut eye time.